To put grey in your life

Hello again,
I'd much rather sit here, hunched over my laptop then watch ATHF on TV. This show has gotten so stupid. Or have I grown up? It may as well be both.
I was thinking today about Ramsey, and what she told me. I love her dearly, she is one of my best friends. Some may not see it, but to me, she knows so much to be so young. I never think of things the way she does, and the other day, what she told me made perfect sense.
Life is black and white, or at least the boring, simple people feel that way. Black and white, plain and simple. Easy. You have to add grey (or color, whatever you'd prefer) in the lives of those who only want to see black and white, to make their lives more exciting. Some people were raised to believe that the only safe way out is to live in black and white. They are supposed to run away from things when life gets hard, when grey people come. How come they won't let the grey in? Let the color in? Don't they know that it would help them? Who wants to see life in black and white again when you've had the chance to see in color, or grey?
I'm that grey. I'm the color. Or at least I like to think of myself as that. Why is it that people shy away from me? They shy away from the color? Ramsey and I are so much alike, yet so different. I think things through, and she acts on impulse. But we've been through the same things, and we know and understand each other. She told me I was the grey, the color. I never really thought of myself this way. I am here to put color and excitement into other people's lives, God blessed me with this and so naturally I have to use it! I always pictured myself as having a black and white kind of life. But we only have one life, so shouldn't we live it to the fullest? We should be grey everyday!
50 years from now I want to look back and know that I tried my best, I lived my life the way God intended for me to do, and I make myself proud. I don't want to look back and think, "oh, well, maybe I should have taken up that opportunity and not go the predictable route."
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button was a life altering movie. One of those rare flicks that shakes you to your very core. A main quote in there was that our life is defined by the opportunities in it - the ones taken and the ones passed up. It made so much sense!

"maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it's comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you're very lucky, a plane ride away" - Carrie Bradshaw

Shush. I know I'm lame for quoting a SATC character (get used to it, you'll see this a lot) but I really do love this quote. It was in an episode I watched earlier that triggered this thought process.
There was an episode earlier in the series where Mr. Big was getting married to some plain girl he got with after he and Carrie broke up. When Carrie confronted him after their rehearsal dinner, she quoted an old movie saying, "Your girl is lovely, Hubble." and he responded with, "I don't get it." and she ended with saying "you never did!" and walked away. After that, he watched after her and she realized that maybe he wasn't the one who needed to be tamed, and perhaps he could never tame her, but she had to find someone just as wild to run with her. Why is it that everyone always settles for the black and white? the plain girl was the black and white, and Carrie was the grey. Was Big scared of Carrie? Were his feelings for her too overwhelming for him to handle? Perhaps he loved her so much he frightened himself? Perhaps he felt he had to live life more before he settled? Eventually he realized that the plain girl wasn't for him, and he and Carrie got together. (10 YEARS LATER!!) But why must people always have to be so stubborn and not except the grey when it first comes?
I think its all a growing thing. So yes, the grey/colorfulness is terribly overwhelming (frightening even), so the black and white must grow and learn about themselves before they can ever begin to take in the grey. I still think it is silly, but then again seeing color for the first time is overwhelming.
Ramsey fits the color description to a T. When she walks into a room, the whole room lights up. I wish sometimes I could be more like her. She is probably the most powerful person I've ever met. She says the same about me, but I don't see it. She told me of this grey/black/white world, and now when I see people and see things that happen to people, I think of that. Then I go into a coma of watching SATC for hours and it makes so much sense! Big was scared of Carrie! Why must guys always be so dumb? Honestly Big, you're retarded. Then again, for Big's arguement, he honestly had no clue what he had until she was gone.
I hope to put color in everyone's lives and change them forever. I know one day I'll find that special person who loves the color I bring and will treasure it forever. (whether I know him now, or not). I hope I color his black and white world and forever change him for the better. (whether I have already, or not).
So yeah, enough of me ranting. I think I'll go to sleep now. Evee is probably hating me now, for she has been on all day, poor dear.
Anyways, goodnight world. Until tomorrow or whenever the urge to write strikes me.
love, me.