update.

Hello hellooooo.
I've discovered that I treat blogs like most people treat their significant others. All doting and happy for the first couple of months, then nothing after the 5th or so month. How sad!
Frankly I just haven't had the time. I've fallen into a slump and I'm struggling to get out of this mess. School is consuming me and my nation is falling all around me. I avoid watching the news at all costs. My grandmother doesn't understand why I leave the room the second our "president" comes on or a new "bill" or "plan" is spoken of, but to be completely honest it just makes me sick.
Sometimes I wonder if I really am sick... Like, bipolar sick. Some days I'm happy and could possibly touch the sky if I wanted to, others I'm sad and feel like there's no way any of this can get better. School is really starting to take an affect on my body and mind, I'm so tired all the time. Audrey doesn't make it any easier. Who said two year olds were precious? Because I need to beat them! :P
I thank God for putting Christy in my life, without her I'd probably go insane. Also my friends like Ramsey and Josh. They're geat too, but I know they're both going through tough times now... I can only pray that they make it through and that they both know (you too christy!) that I love them with all my heart and I'm thankful for their wonderful friendship.
Another subject that gets to me awfully bad are these perfect married couples via facebook. I've got wishywashy feelings over the matter. Sometimes I bask in the fabulousness that is singlehood, then other times I yern for the nook of a guy's shoulder to bury myself in and just be close to that special person. I' run out of fingers from counting all my friends who are in great relationships, but then there's me. I know that I'm single for a reason - to grow in God. but Its so tough and depressing when you watch all the good guys get weeded out by the girls.
Also another thing, apparently some people get the wrong idea of who I am. Firstly, I am not your average single mom. No, I am not seeking a father for my child. Did I fail to mention that I am both? Yes, I do lack a penis and that lovely mustache, but I am a hybid parent for Audrey and I am NOT out to seek someone to take care of my kid. Where the hell that idea came from, I'll never know. But I'm not. I guess I really don't have the time for a relationship, but I'd give anything to get that cute text message or a enormous hug from some cute boy. Its nice to feel special... I mean high heels can only do so much!
On another note, I still think of you everyday. I hope you're life is going well and you're seeing the person that you're becoming, growing, and I hope you find happiness. I'll never stop caring about you, you changedme for the better. But I still have that empty feeling inside. Some days its more obvious than others, but its still there. I can't wait for it to heal.
I'm growing closer to God, but its on a more personal level. I talk to him all the time, and I know he has something wonderful planned for me. For everyone. For all my friends out there who are struggling and pondering the meaning of their life. Its up to us to jump these obstacles and run for the gold.
No matter how tough life gets, I know my prize will be worth while.
love,
me.